No more waiting...

This post is mostly good news!  Hooray!!

The receptionist made a mistake and told me May 19th, when my appointment was actually April 19th!  So I went in today with Scott and we basically expected the worst.  I had googled everything I could to figure out if there was something else besides cancer that he could have found from the biopsy, and didn't find anything!  Well...

The doctor said that I have a Follicular tumor.  With this type of tumor, they won't be able to tell for sure what it is until it is removed.  So I will be having surgery (most likely after baby is born), and they will remove the tumor and will be able to tell for sure if it is cancer or not.  I still have a 90% chance that it is not cancer, so the odds are in my favor!  I feel a little like we are back at square one, but I also feel very relieved at the same time!  

I have to say that I have felt a lot of peace for the last few weeks.  I knew that everything would be ok.  A couple weeks ago when I was being set apart for my new calling (YW 1st counselor), the counselor said 3 different times in the blessing that I would be blessed with good health.  I thought that was unusual for him to talk so much about my health with a setting apart, but that blessing has given me a lot of comfort since then and Heavenly Father must have known I needed to hear that.  Although this experience has made me a bit emotional on top of the fact that I'm an emotional wreck already, I am grateful for trials like this one because they draw me closer to my Father in Heaven and my family as well.  It has meant so much to me to hear of family members praying and fasting for me when I wasn't sure I even needed that to begin with.  

Hopefully this is the last you will hear about this for a long time!  Can I get a hallelujah?

sewing

I've been sewing up a storm lately!  After looking everywhere for an Easter dress and being unsatisfied, I decided to just make her one.  Now I'm thinking it looks more like a summer play dress, but whatever!!  I still like it!  I just used scraps I had around from old projects= free dress!

I also have been working on Jace's quilt!  I just have to bind the edges now... so close!  In fact, I should really go do that right now and get 'er done... :)

Johansons!

This blog needs some extra happiness!  These pictures are from a couple weeks ago when the Johansons came to town.  The kids LOVE playing with their cousins!  We had a really fun time with them and are so glad we get to see them more often now that they live closer!

 At the aquarium

 girl cousins!

Uncle Jeff being the usual nerd 

This picture cracks me up...

Diary of a HPW: waiting...

I had a biopsy on my thyroid on Wednesday.  I was told that I would find out the results within 2-7 days.  Well, a couple days later I got a call from the doctor's office saying that they couldn't tell me my results because the doctor would like to meet with me in person...  so now I'm basically just thinking the worst.  He wanted me to come in early, but the earliest he could get me in was just a week before my scheduled appointment which is still a month away!  So he wants me to wait a month?!  I don't think I can do it...  I'm pretty sure I will be bugging the office again next week!  :)

Ok, so let me explain so that nobody feels sorry for me.  That is seriously the last thing I want.  Thyroid cancer is VERY treatable.  Basically, they will remove the nodule, and possibly connecting thyroid.  Then I will need to be on medication (I think forever.) I think there might be a couple other things I need to do, but they are minor.  The doc says they will most likely do the surgery after I deliver since if I do have thyroid cancer, it is probably Papillary Carcinoma which is very slow growing and not urgent.  I'm guessing that is what it is if my appointment is still a month away, and if I indeed do have cancer!  Of course I am just jumping the gun here, but my doctor said that if it is cancer he will move up my appointment date (which he did), plus they wouldn't tell me the results of my test (which they said they would!).  Anywho... here's to another month of waiting!

Since this IS about my pregnancy, haha, I'll talk about that now...

I'm still sick!  It's not too bad though, and I am functioning just fine!

I have felt the baby move for a couple weeks now.  I'm loving it!  It helps me know baby is doing well :)

biggest craving: ICE!  I have to chew it... yummm...

I've got a nice round tummy now!

I have no energy!  I still try to work out, but it's usually just at my weekly Zumba class...

Jace and Makenna are SO excited.  Jace has started kissing my tummy.  I love it!

Diary of a HPW: drama

4/5

Ok, so it has been a while since I wrote last, but it's basically because I was given a shocker right after my last appointment...

  My blood work came back abnormal for my thyroid (slightly hyperthyroid).  My doctor ordered another blood test, which was still not normal, so she decided to send me to an Endocrinologist.  So I went to this other doctor the next day, and everything seemed to be going fine.  He didn't seem too worried about my thyroid, and figured it was all pregnancy.  Well then he had me sit on the exam table to look at my thyroid, and he took one look at me and asked "Have you seen this?"  I immediately put my hand to my neck where I felt the growth.  It was about the size of a golf ball (we now lovingly call it my golf ball).  He then told me that there was a 1 in 10 chance that I have cancer.  If I don't have cancer I will basically have to live with this growth (nodule) unless it becomes big enough that it interferes with my breathing, swallowing, or talking.  So that is where we are right now.  I have had an ultrasound on it, as well as more blood-work, and will go in on Thursday to find out what is up.  The good thing is that if it is cancer, they usually just remove the nodule and it goes away.  After thinking and praying about it for the last 3 weeks, I feel good that whatever happens will be fine and I will be ok.

On a good note, my latest ultrasound showed that the baby is doing great, and the bleeding is gone!  That was better news than finding out if I have cancer or not, so I am very happy about that!

As far as my pregnancy goes...

I'm still sick and have been throwing up daily for the last while.  Every time I eat I feel so sick to my stomach... even with my medication.  My sickness with Jace lasted until about 22 weeks though, so we'll see what happens!

I feel like we are having a boy.  By this time I felt I knew with the other kids, so we will see if I'm right... in September!

Diary of a HPW: scared

3/5
So I mentioned before that the doctor saw a little bleeding on the ultrasound... so I went in yesterday for another ultrasound and the blood was still there.  My doctor said we need to be careful so I'm on pelvic rest till my next ultrasound next month.  Honestly, I don't even really know what it all means, but it is freaking my out!  I've wanted this baby for SOOOO long (long before we even started trying!), and to have it taken away from me would be heartbreaking to say the least.  The ultrasound was amazing this time.  I've never seen my babies at this age, so it was so fun to see the little baby moving all over the place.  Unlike 3 weeks ago, the baby now had a formed head, body, arms, and legs.  (um isn't that amazing??)  Anyways, sorry for the sad post, but I had to vent.

On a lighter note, I got me some Zofran!  Woot woot!  It works really well for me!  Can a get a hallelujah!  Hopefully the last few weeks of my sickness won't be too bad...

Back to depressing things... I already have a belly!  What the hay?!  It's more noticeable the end of the day when I'm full, but it's definitely there.  I'm so nervous I will be HUGE this time!  

Diary of a HPW: vegetarian

2/28

I never thought I would say that.... because I LOVE MEAT!  However, it makes me super sick, so I haven't had meat in about 3 weeks!  I'm glad I figured that out though, because ever since I cut it out I have felt decent!  We have had some interesting dinners lately thanks to my stomach and my cravings:

funeral potatoes (that was the meal)

Spanish rice with cheese

mashed potatoes

waffles

pancakes

toast with mozzarella cheese to dip in spaghetti sauce (that was a strange one)

noodles with cheese on top

Basically anything rice, potatoes, pasta, and cheese... pretty gross huh?  Luckily fruit is good too, so I try to eat lots of fruit.

I have had lots of headaches lately.  One day I had a migraine headache and I thought I was going to die.  The only thing I could take was Tylenol, which did nothing.  I basically laid in bed the whole day.  2 guys from my ward came and gave me a blessing, and thank goodness.  After the blessing I was able to breathe again!  (yes I could barely breathe for some reason!)  It lasted about 24 hours... yuck.

So I'm not even kidding... in the last week my stomach has gotten bigger!  Crazy!!  I'm thinking I'm going to be huge by the end!!  

I've had a couple people ask since I last wrote, and I couldn't lie anymore!  I spilled the beans...  Hopefully it will still be on the DL for the next few weeks!  

Having my second ultrasound on Friday!  Hopefully it goes well...

Diary of a HPW: a common theme so far...

2/16
I really really hate lying.  Why must the whole world ask me if I'm pregnant?  Leave me in peace!  I had another 2 girls ask me today, which brings the grand total to maybe 14 women that have asked me!  AHHH!  The thing is, none of the girls that have asked me are my close friends, so I just know once I tell one of them the whole ward will know, and I'm not ready for that yet.  I'm starting to feel like I can't take this much longer.  I can't just lie forever and then the next week say, "surprise I'm pregnant!"  Please, for the love, just don't ask me for the next month or so and I will be ok.

On a fun note, I told my family on Monday for Valentine's day.  I sent them a little package with some birthday gifts and Valentine's Day stuff, and slipped in a little ultrasound picture.  I think they are excited!  They knew we had been trying for a while, so I think they knew how much it meant to me.  

I have had some REALLY bad days lately, but then I have days like today where I feel sick the whole day, but able to be up and about doing stuff.  I have found that with this pregnancy how sick I am really depends on what I eat.  I don't remember it being that way with the other two, more that I just felt sick when I didn't eat.  I can't eat anything meat or my stomach hurts so bad, or anything too spicy.  Basically my diet has been mostly consisting of carbs!  They make my stomach feel good!  So far, I haven't gained a pound so that is good!

I was feeling like the baby is a girl, but now I'm feeling more boy.  I guess time will tell!  A LOOOONG time!!  But we're doing it- we're waiting.  I know we are going to get some attitude for that decision, but I just can't stop thinking about how fun it will be to have the big surprise at the end!  

Diary of a HPW: First appointment

2/11

Today was our first appointment!  I made Scott come with me!  We had an ultrasound first.  We got to see the little heart beat.  Can I just tell you that is the best thing I've seen in years.  I just felt so much peace seeing the little bean, and seeing the heartbeat.  Our baby is about 1 cm. big, and my official due date is Sept. 29th.  

Can I just say that I LOVE my doctor?!  That is why I drive down to Pres. every month... for her.  She's like a good friend... it was so fun catching up today!  Fun except the most uncomfortable pap I've ever had... but great besides that!  She did have a tiny concern with a little bleeding she saw on the ultrasound so I will be back in 3 weeks for another ultrasound.  She said it's really nothing to be worried about, she just wants to be cautious, so I'm trying not to be worried!  All in all, I still feel a huge sense of peace.

My nausea seems to be getting... better?  Weird huh?  I definitely am still nauseous, but I've felt decent the last couple days.  This may be the calm before the storm...  Oh, and I still haven't thrown up!  LOVELY!  Well that's about it for now!

Diary of a HPW: liar liar

2/8
Once again I was asked if I was pregnant... by 8 girls at once!  AGHHHH!  They said that both of my kids told someone I was pregnant... which is funny because I haven't even told Jace.  So I had to lie to all of them!  Give me a break!!  :)  I'm only 7 or so weeks, and I haven't had my first appointment yet, AND I haven't even told my own mother.  So of course I have to lie!  It's so stinkin hard though!  If I was someone else listening to me lying my pants off, I probably wouldn't believe me.  That's ok.  I just don't want it spread around the whole ward!!

Anywho... I am officially super sick!  It's worst late at night and in the morning.  My great friend hooked me up with some drugs!  haha.  She had some left over.  I took one yesterday, and it definitely helped, but I was so stinking tired!  Hopefully I can get some new drugs at my appointment Friday!  Can't wait to see our bean!!