Diary of a HPW: drama

4/5

Ok, so it has been a while since I wrote last, but it's basically because I was given a shocker right after my last appointment...

  My blood work came back abnormal for my thyroid (slightly hyperthyroid).  My doctor ordered another blood test, which was still not normal, so she decided to send me to an Endocrinologist.  So I went to this other doctor the next day, and everything seemed to be going fine.  He didn't seem too worried about my thyroid, and figured it was all pregnancy.  Well then he had me sit on the exam table to look at my thyroid, and he took one look at me and asked "Have you seen this?"  I immediately put my hand to my neck where I felt the growth.  It was about the size of a golf ball (we now lovingly call it my golf ball).  He then told me that there was a 1 in 10 chance that I have cancer.  If I don't have cancer I will basically have to live with this growth (nodule) unless it becomes big enough that it interferes with my breathing, swallowing, or talking.  So that is where we are right now.  I have had an ultrasound on it, as well as more blood-work, and will go in on Thursday to find out what is up.  The good thing is that if it is cancer, they usually just remove the nodule and it goes away.  After thinking and praying about it for the last 3 weeks, I feel good that whatever happens will be fine and I will be ok.

On a good note, my latest ultrasound showed that the baby is doing great, and the bleeding is gone!  That was better news than finding out if I have cancer or not, so I am very happy about that!

As far as my pregnancy goes...

I'm still sick and have been throwing up daily for the last while.  Every time I eat I feel so sick to my stomach... even with my medication.  My sickness with Jace lasted until about 22 weeks though, so we'll see what happens!

I feel like we are having a boy.  By this time I felt I knew with the other kids, so we will see if I'm right... in September!

Diary of a HPW: scared

3/5
So I mentioned before that the doctor saw a little bleeding on the ultrasound... so I went in yesterday for another ultrasound and the blood was still there.  My doctor said we need to be careful so I'm on pelvic rest till my next ultrasound next month.  Honestly, I don't even really know what it all means, but it is freaking my out!  I've wanted this baby for SOOOO long (long before we even started trying!), and to have it taken away from me would be heartbreaking to say the least.  The ultrasound was amazing this time.  I've never seen my babies at this age, so it was so fun to see the little baby moving all over the place.  Unlike 3 weeks ago, the baby now had a formed head, body, arms, and legs.  (um isn't that amazing??)  Anyways, sorry for the sad post, but I had to vent.

On a lighter note, I got me some Zofran!  Woot woot!  It works really well for me!  Can a get a hallelujah!  Hopefully the last few weeks of my sickness won't be too bad...

Back to depressing things... I already have a belly!  What the hay?!  It's more noticeable the end of the day when I'm full, but it's definitely there.  I'm so nervous I will be HUGE this time!  

Diary of a HPW: vegetarian

2/28

I never thought I would say that.... because I LOVE MEAT!  However, it makes me super sick, so I haven't had meat in about 3 weeks!  I'm glad I figured that out though, because ever since I cut it out I have felt decent!  We have had some interesting dinners lately thanks to my stomach and my cravings:

funeral potatoes (that was the meal)

Spanish rice with cheese

mashed potatoes

waffles

pancakes

toast with mozzarella cheese to dip in spaghetti sauce (that was a strange one)

noodles with cheese on top

Basically anything rice, potatoes, pasta, and cheese... pretty gross huh?  Luckily fruit is good too, so I try to eat lots of fruit.

I have had lots of headaches lately.  One day I had a migraine headache and I thought I was going to die.  The only thing I could take was Tylenol, which did nothing.  I basically laid in bed the whole day.  2 guys from my ward came and gave me a blessing, and thank goodness.  After the blessing I was able to breathe again!  (yes I could barely breathe for some reason!)  It lasted about 24 hours... yuck.

So I'm not even kidding... in the last week my stomach has gotten bigger!  Crazy!!  I'm thinking I'm going to be huge by the end!!  

I've had a couple people ask since I last wrote, and I couldn't lie anymore!  I spilled the beans...  Hopefully it will still be on the DL for the next few weeks!  

Having my second ultrasound on Friday!  Hopefully it goes well...

Diary of a HPW: a common theme so far...

2/16
I really really hate lying.  Why must the whole world ask me if I'm pregnant?  Leave me in peace!  I had another 2 girls ask me today, which brings the grand total to maybe 14 women that have asked me!  AHHH!  The thing is, none of the girls that have asked me are my close friends, so I just know once I tell one of them the whole ward will know, and I'm not ready for that yet.  I'm starting to feel like I can't take this much longer.  I can't just lie forever and then the next week say, "surprise I'm pregnant!"  Please, for the love, just don't ask me for the next month or so and I will be ok.

On a fun note, I told my family on Monday for Valentine's day.  I sent them a little package with some birthday gifts and Valentine's Day stuff, and slipped in a little ultrasound picture.  I think they are excited!  They knew we had been trying for a while, so I think they knew how much it meant to me.  

I have had some REALLY bad days lately, but then I have days like today where I feel sick the whole day, but able to be up and about doing stuff.  I have found that with this pregnancy how sick I am really depends on what I eat.  I don't remember it being that way with the other two, more that I just felt sick when I didn't eat.  I can't eat anything meat or my stomach hurts so bad, or anything too spicy.  Basically my diet has been mostly consisting of carbs!  They make my stomach feel good!  So far, I haven't gained a pound so that is good!

I was feeling like the baby is a girl, but now I'm feeling more boy.  I guess time will tell!  A LOOOONG time!!  But we're doing it- we're waiting.  I know we are going to get some attitude for that decision, but I just can't stop thinking about how fun it will be to have the big surprise at the end!  

Diary of a HPW: First appointment

2/11

Today was our first appointment!  I made Scott come with me!  We had an ultrasound first.  We got to see the little heart beat.  Can I just tell you that is the best thing I've seen in years.  I just felt so much peace seeing the little bean, and seeing the heartbeat.  Our baby is about 1 cm. big, and my official due date is Sept. 29th.  

Can I just say that I LOVE my doctor?!  That is why I drive down to Pres. every month... for her.  She's like a good friend... it was so fun catching up today!  Fun except the most uncomfortable pap I've ever had... but great besides that!  She did have a tiny concern with a little bleeding she saw on the ultrasound so I will be back in 3 weeks for another ultrasound.  She said it's really nothing to be worried about, she just wants to be cautious, so I'm trying not to be worried!  All in all, I still feel a huge sense of peace.

My nausea seems to be getting... better?  Weird huh?  I definitely am still nauseous, but I've felt decent the last couple days.  This may be the calm before the storm...  Oh, and I still haven't thrown up!  LOVELY!  Well that's about it for now!

Diary of a HPW: liar liar

2/8
Once again I was asked if I was pregnant... by 8 girls at once!  AGHHHH!  They said that both of my kids told someone I was pregnant... which is funny because I haven't even told Jace.  So I had to lie to all of them!  Give me a break!!  :)  I'm only 7 or so weeks, and I haven't had my first appointment yet, AND I haven't even told my own mother.  So of course I have to lie!  It's so stinkin hard though!  If I was someone else listening to me lying my pants off, I probably wouldn't believe me.  That's ok.  I just don't want it spread around the whole ward!!

Anywho... I am officially super sick!  It's worst late at night and in the morning.  My great friend hooked me up with some drugs!  haha.  She had some left over.  I took one yesterday, and it definitely helped, but I was so stinking tired!  Hopefully I can get some new drugs at my appointment Friday!  Can't wait to see our bean!!

Diary of a HPW: me= hormones

2/3
The hormones are here, and with a vengeance.  If you know me well you know I am a pretty laid back person.  I'm good at just letting things go, or not letting things bother me.  Heh heh heh.  One thing that does bother me is not feeling like I'm in control!  I hate having my hormones take over!  I want to just let things go like I normally would, but I can't...  So please don't bother me this week...  (and sorry if you noticed a was a bit crabby)

I am now 6 weeks.  I have morning (all day) sickness but not very bad yet.  I would LOVE if it was like this the whole time!  I have not thrown up yet, so that is great in my book.  (since I threw up for about 4 months straight with Jace)  I have heartburn right now.  Isn't it a little early for that?

I cry daily, usually about something dumb on tv.  Last night it was while watching Idol.

Next week is my first appointment/ultrasound, and after that we will tell our parents, and a couple close friends.  The only people that know right now are my best friend (who has been on this journey with me all along!), and Makenna.  It is hard keeping it a secret!  I am still very nervous though about the baby, so that makes it a little easier.

Diary of a HPW: I'm definitely pregnant

1/29
I was feeling a little worried this week because my symptoms seemed to mostly go away for a couple days... no need to worry!  Now I'm officially feeling like crap, but I know it's just the beginning.  I actually get the most sick after eating which is a new thing for me.  We'll see if that lasts.  I also get sick if I don't eat for a long time, but it's not that bad yet. 

So I'm a nerd... I found a new pregnancy test  in my house yesterday, so I decided to take it just for fun.  Holy cow that second line popped up right away and is as dark as the control line!  Not that I was expecting different, but I've just never had a test that looked like that!  Scott was like, "Ummm you're definitely pregnant!"

Diary of a HPW: And the crying begins...

Ok, so I have more of these entries that I made, and I decided to just post them all.  Feel free to skip over them!  It is mostly for my enjoyment!  I will post one once a day until I'm caught up.  I'll try to put a couple normal posts in too!  Bear with me here!  :)

1/25/11
I'm not a big cryer... it's one way I know I'm hormonal!  So far I've cried about:

Jace hitting a kid at Chick-Fil-A

watching "You've Got Mail"

Reading a blog

watching Parenthood (great show)

I'm sure it's only just begun...

Names I like today: 

boy: Trevan

Trent

Connor

girl: Camryn  

I'm not a big fan of:  chocolate (my fave!)

cucumbers

apples

I had someone else ask if I'm prego today (see TOLD you people ask me all the time!) and had to lie to her.  I don't like lying.  I justify it by thinking that if my mom doesn't know, then no one in my ward needs to know!

The other day Makenna found my pregnancy test... this wouldn't be a problem, but she's seen quite a few of them lately and had asked what they are, so I told her thinking it would be harmless.  So she runs up to me the other day and says, "MOM!!!  There's 2 lines!!  That means there's a baby in your tummy!"  So I had to tell her, although I was going to wait until I was ready to tell people!  She promised me that she could keep a secret.  We'll see how that goes...

Today was the first day I woke up feeling really yucky... still not yucky enough to throw up though.  It went away once I got some food.  I'm enjoying this cause I know it's not going to last!

Diary of a happy pregnant woman

Here is little entry I made a while back when I found out I was pregnant.  It's kind of fun to read now; for me at least!

1/21/11

Since I'm not able to share my news at this time, I thought it would be fun to write it here and publish it in a couple months!

test #1

test #2 can you see it?!!

On Monday (1/17) night I ran over to Walgreens to get some early result tests cause, you know, that's what I do these days... every month... wasting all kinds of money!

I was sure the test would be negative because I've been feeling my monthly PMS signs.  They are the same as usual.  Soreness...  the headaches... and the moodiness... check check check!  I took the test and it was, in fact, negative.  Nothing I'm not used to lately.  I decided to gear myself up for another month...

A little later I checked it again and could see the faintest line.  It looked just like a test I had taken a couple months back that was, in fact, negative.  Just in case, I would test in the morning...

The next morning (1/18) I re-tested again as soon as I could and got the same super light line, only even lighter this time.  Hmmm  

After running to the dollar store later that day, I took 2 more tests, both super light line.  I think I'm beginning to see a pattern here!  I showed Scott, and he was still skeptical, and making fun of me for taking 4 tests in two days!

Let's be honest, at this point I'm excited!!  In fact, it's all I can think about!

The next morning (1/19), I took another dollar store test and got my darkest super light line yet!  Although I didn't expect it, I was starting to feel nauseous as well.  To top it off that night I took my third expensive early result test (that makes 6 total) and I got a nice dark line-finally!  Hallelujah!  I knew for sure at that moment that it was real!

So far with this pregnancy:

I have felt nauseous in the evenings, when I eat certain foods, and in the mornings and I'm only 4 weeks along... this is unusual as I've never felt sick until 6 weeks

I've been asked if I'm pregnant and had to lie (I haven't even told my mom yet!) plus it's easy to lie when I don't quite believe it myself!

I had an aversion to carmelitos which are one of my favorite desserts

I've been more tired than normal (another symptom I don't usually have)

Sign of things to come?

Trying for a baby with no success has been one of the hardest things I've ever dealt with.  I think what was really starting to get to me is that I thought maybe I couldn't have any more children.  In the past, with all 3 pregnancies I've had we got pregnant the first month or two, so going months longer than that seemed like an eternity.  I feel like a whiner to even say this stuff because of what other people go through, but I think for the first time I was able to understand what those women are going through.  There were times I was nearing depression.  I think as mothers our greatest desire is to have children, so when you feel that is taken away from you, it tears at your heart.

I feel blessed that we have been given this amazing gift.  Bring on the morning sickness!  Bring on the stretch marks!  Bring on the toilet stops!

Please forgive me if I lie to your face and tell you I'm not pregnant in the next couple months, but you shouldn't be asking a woman if she's pregnant anyways!  I'm trying to hold out as long as I can to tell people because we are not going to find out the sex of the baby.