thoughts of a mother...

I know there are so many videos out there on the web, but this one is a must watch...



I needed a little pick me up today. Kids have been crazy. Lot's to do. Been slacking a little bit in the spiritual area. That is what gets me through the hard times; if I lose track, what is there to get me through them? I love being inspired as a mother. I mean, it is my life. I am helping to shape these little kids into something. Sometimes I forget that. I get caught up in the hard stuff, and how I am going a little bananas at times. I forget that everything I do can have an effect on them for good or bad. I love this quote by Eliza R. Snow...

"Women should be women and not babies that need petting and correction all the time. I know we like to be appreciated but if we do not get all the appreciation which we think is our due, what matters? We know the Lord has laid high responsibility upon us, and there is not a wish or desire that the Lord has implanted in our hearts in righteousness but will be realized, and the greatest good we can do to ourselves and each other is to refine and cultivate ourselves in everything that is good and ennobling to qualify us for those responsibilities."

A good reminder. I can do this!

Half marathon- update!

That last post was miserable- sorry. That's what happens when you wake up at 5:30 AM and can't go back to sleep. I was in a bad place at 5:30 this morning! Then I decided to blog about it! Well I'm in a better place now! I really am proud that I was able to do a half marathon! A year ago I never would have thought I could do it! And I did it. Crappy time and all! I am coming down with some stomach sickness, which gives me some relief to know there really was something wrong. I have heard many kind and uplifting words today when I really needed it, so thanks! I'm over it!

half marathon

So where do I begin? Basically, after training for 5 months and feeling great, my body decides it doesn't want to work at the race... After about 5-6 miles, my body just shut down. My stomach hurt like a mutha, I kept getting shivers through my body, and my head was spinning. Lovely. Ughhh I was so frustrated. Usually I have some control over how slow or fast I go, but this time there was only one speed I could go, and that was slow. I thought, am I really going to be able to finish?! All of my nightmares about this race were coming true- I ate the wrong thing for breakfast so my stomach hurt, I had to go to the bano (I seriously had a fear of this!), and I wasn't sure I was going to finish. Probably one of the most frustrating moments of my life. Well, I did finish. Going across that finish line I just felt ashamed, not the proud feelings I thought I would feel at that moment. Let's just say my time wasn't so great. It was far worse than my 12.7 mile run a couple weeks ago that I finished with ease. I went through this just wanting to finish, not get a great time, so I don't know why I care so much. I think just knowing I could have done better just gets to me. I am thinking about running another one in a couple months to prove to myself I can do better, and so I don't look back at this experience in frustration. This will NOT be my last half marathon!

Jace was a little confused at first...

This is towards the end. What kind of stride is that?! The only thing that got that smile on my face was Makenna and Jace yelling "Go mom! Go mom! Go mom!"

After the race with Jenny. Jenny did great, I am very proud of her! I also want to give a little shout out to her because without her I wouldn't have been able to run this race. We traded kids twice a week so we could run, and ran together all last year. Thanks Jenny, you rock!

Maybe we will adopt...

We decided to go ahead and adopt my younger sister Stacy since we are in the adopting mood! She's moving out here in a couple weeks and we are so excited! She got a promotion to a job here in Albuquerque- way to go Stacy! She'll be living with us in our little house. We are definitely excited to have a live-in babysitter! Boo ya.

This picture killed me...

Kenna with her cute friends Abby and Makenna
taken by the amazing Liz at Liz E Studio

not what we expected...

I was trying to decide if I was going to share this experience or not, but I don't really see why I need to keep it a secret, and I learned so much from this experience, so here goes...

On Saturday when we were at the Rockies game, we got a call from Scott's dad that Sherri's adopted children had a biological brother born. He was wondering if there was a chance that we would be interested in adopting him. Scott said we would think about it, and that was that. Neither of us thought much would come from it. Well all day it was all we could think about! We talked and talked about it, how it seemed like really good timing, we wanted to keep their biological brother in the family, we would be able to give him the gospel, etc. etc. I really started to fall in love with the whole idea. Everything felt good, and everything felt right. We decided to go to Heavenly Father in prayer to decide if it was right, and we continued to feel good about it. My sister in law told us that it was a very good possibility, and she would talk to the social worker in the morning to see what he said about it. I have to admit that I did not sleep very well that night. I just couldn't believe that my life was about to change so drastically, and that there was a little baby out there that I felt was mine.

Sherri called us Sunday and told us that the social worker and the girl in charge of placing the baby did indeed want the baby to come to us. Their boss, however, did not because he felt it wasn't fair for the families on the waiting list that were already certified and ready to take him. A lady that is at his level really likes babies to stay in the family, and would probably want him to come to us, so we still had a good chance. In the next day or two they would have a meeting to discuss whether or not this baby should go to us. Our sweet sister Sherri wrote a very sweet letter telling why we deserved this baby, namely that he would be raised knowing his siblings. Throughout Sunday we still felt good and excited about it, but little doubts were starting to creep into our minds.

Sunday night we spoke with Sherri again. She told us how she went through an experience when she was looking to adopt where she found 2 girls online, and fell in love with them. She cried about them, prayed about them, and really felt she wanted to adopt them. Well when they went to inquire about them, they were already being adopted. We felt we could really relate to the feelings she felt. Maybe it just felt right because it's a sweet baby, and adopting him would be a good thing to do. We also found out that the baby may not actually have the same father, so he wouldn't be a full biological brother. At this time I felt so confused because up to that point it felt so right. There are three things I learned from this. 1. With information brings inspiration. The more information we were given, the less right it started to feel. 2. Sometimes Heavenly Father doesn't give us the correct answer right away. He lets us find out a little slower so that we are able to go through a trial or experience and learn from it. 3. Sometimes Heavenly Father asks things of us to see if we would be willing to do them, ie. Abraham and Issac.

Monday night after much thought and prayer, we realized this baby was not ours. I had a real sense of peace that he was going to a family that was good for him and that he was going to be taken care of. Once I realized these things, I was able to release all the emotion that had built up over the previous couple of days. It was a real sense of relief, because adopting this baby would have been a huge trial in and of itself. It was something I was willing and able to go through, but that would have been difficult. I can't even tell you how much I learned from this experience. I cannot even describe to you how incredibly emotionally drained I felt over those few days. Both of us cried numerous times over this child. I am so thankful for trials that come in my life, because I really believe they shape me into a better person. This experience brought us closer to each other, and closer to our Savior, which was the perfect thing for Easter weekend.

Easter

I have been trying really hard to make holidays more exciting for the kids. Sometimes a holiday will come and go without hardly any recognition at all! I was thinking about my childhood and how much I LOVED holidays and traditions, so I decided that I need to do more! So this year, I tried a little harder. First, we dyed Easter eggs for FHE. The next morning Scott hid them before he left for seminary, so they had an Easter egg hunt for the hard-boiled eggs when they woke up. Then a couple days later I went to Wal-mart and bought some cute cookie cutters. We made the cookies together *I have to admit that this took a lot of patience for me because they kept eating the dough and messing up the already cut cookies... It took quite a while to finish and I wanted to shoot myself by the end, but I tried, and the kids loved it!*

On Saturday the kids got to with the Burns to their Easter Egg Hunt, while we got to go to the Rockies/Mariners game at Isotopes park. They said they really had a fun time, so thanks Stef!

Sunday, I decided to start a new tradition, or I guess the Easter bunny did I mean... The kids got a ball of yarn and had to follow it all over the house until they eventually found their Easter Baskets. It was really fun for Makenna, Jace had no idea what was happening but enjoyed his Easter basket when he found it. Easter baskets for my kids consist of things they already needed/stuff I already had in my gift stash. :) The Easter bunny also left eggs around the house for them to find.

We really enjoyed watching conference on Easter Weekend. What a perfect time to listen to our Prophet/Leaders, and celebrate Christ. I was really touched by the things that were said, and am trying really hard to apply them to my life. Two themes stuck out to me: being better parents, and receiving personal inspiration to guide our lives.

Besides all the fun Easter stuff and traditions, we tried really hard this year to help the kids (mostly Makenna) understand that we celebrate Easter because of Christ. It has been really neat to see Makenna begin to understand Christ's atonement and his resurrection. I love how Makenna is such a sponge at this age and she'll just sit there with her wide eyes as we teach her. It really made this Easter extra special.

following the yarn to the baskets

They found them!

Your Happily Ever After

You know how some days you just need a little spiritual boost? Well I read this talk today from the Young Women's Broadcast, and loved it! It gave me just the boost I was looking for. I think it is a must-read for all women.

Another quick Utah trip!

We had another amazing trip up to Utah this past weekend- this time to be with the Worth family (Scott's sister) as they were sealed in the temple. My amazing sister-in-law Sherri recently adopted 3 beautiful children. Luckily we have been able to have them in our lives for the past 2 years or so, and finally they were able to become part of the family forever. We are so happy for the Worth family, and amazed that they were able to take on 3 more children on top of the 7 they already have.
FYI In our church we believe that we can be families forever, which is such a beautiful thing, and one of the core beliefs we have. When we are married we are sealed in the temple, not only to be married for time, but for eternity. All children born to us are also sealed to us. When a child is adopted, the sealing ordinance must take place again to seal them to the family.
It was such a beautiful, yet short and simple, ceremony that I will remember forever. What a sweet thing it is to see a whole family in a sealing room. I am so glad that I am able to be with my family forever and that I know that after I die, or they die, we will be able to be with each other again for eternity. Having that knowledge gives me so much strength and happiness!

The beautiful Manti temple- it still boggles my mind that they were able to build this building so long ago.

The cute Worth family dressed in their temple whites

Holy cow, this random dog just came up and laid down in front of them waiting for a pet... so funny!

With my forever best friend! We were twins

Cute cousins Jace and Joseph

Karmiyah and Makenna- best cousins!

This pictures cracks me up for a few reasons... it tells a LOT about my son!
1. He wouldn't get in the pool because he's afraid of the water... he's a very cautious boy. (Hoping to change that this summer!)
2. He was obsessed with the pool balls and had a great time throwing them in the pool over and over and over, so much so that he didn't mind that his entire outfit was soaked.
3. He likes to stick his tongue out a lot
4. The bouncy ball in his right hand has been in that right hand for approximately 3 hours at this point.
5. He never has shoes on (which was probably a good thing)

Road Triiiiiip!

A couple weeks ago the kids and I packed up and went to Utah! I was in desperate need of a vacay, and my bestie was without a husband for a week. The answer- road trip! We had a great time together spending time outside in the nice spring weather, taking the kids here and there, and just hanging out. Megan and I stayed up all night every night talking- so fun! We were crazy the later and later we stayed up... hahaha I'm so glad we went, it was such a great trip! I need to give a shout out to my kids for allowing mommy to drive and not making me pull my hair out- thanks guys!

Jace and Jake had so much fun together!

The dinosaur museum

dressed in green for st. patricks (although they look more blue in the pic!)

me with prego (yes she is now ahead of me!)

We also had a little lunch date with my grandma Holland! Makenna loves gma H!